To Us

I’ve been looking at life through my mother-in-law’s eyes lately. I hear her voice in my head exclaim, “Oh, isn’t that elegant!” and I remember her unfeigned delight at the littlest of refinements. A carafe of water on her bedside table. White linen tablecloths and matching napkins. Nibbles, as she called them, enjoyed with a pre-dinner glass of wine. Her favorite toast was simple: To us!

Catharine was especially insistent that anniversaries be commemorated with an elegant dinner. For nearly 10 years after my father-in-law died she would arrive in Pittsburgh for the Christmas holiday a few days before our anniversary. We always celebrated it with her, the three of us dining atop Pittsburgh’s Mount Washington, or in the Strip District, or at a cozy suburban restaurant. Our 20^th anniversary was the last one she spent with us. Travel was difficult that year 2001 and the post-holiday flight back to Sun City was the last she would take. A painful bout of shingles followed by a broken hip and a fall ensured that we would have to go to her for the next several Christmases, arriving well after our anniversary date.

Today her son and I celebrated 30 years of marriage, enjoying dinner at a new-to-us restaurant in a new city. Although it was not “white tablecloth” – in fact, there was no tablecloth – we were grateful to be in a position where we could afford a meal out.

I inherited a lot of elegant things from my mother-in-law, some of them surrendered this summer at garage sales, most of them in storage for who knows how long. There’s not a lot of room here on the Pure Grace for elegant stuff, and although boats and glass don’t mix well, I do insist on serving that pre-dinner drink in a real wine glass. To us, Catharine!